Pvt. Leonard L. Church [A]

Warforged Resilience Robot Rumble [canon]: Immunity to diseases; no need to eat/drink/breathe, but likewise cannot get buffs from anything eaten/drank/huffed/b l a z e d; no need to sleep and no exhaustion, but requires charging himself from alternate means.

sorcerer:
Subtle Spell: Your spells no longer require you to make verbal or hand gesturing movements and are undetectable unless detected by magical means.
Twinned Spell: You can cast two spells at once.
Shape Water: You can use magic to control the shape of liquid, non magical water up to 5' wide by 5' tall. While utilizing this spell, you can perform one of the four actions:
• You move the water up to 5 feet in any direction. This movement doesn't cause damage.
• You cause the water to form into simple shapes and animate. This change lasts for 1 hour.
• You change the water's color or opacity. This change lasts for 1 hour.
• You freeze the water, provided there are no creatures in it. The water unfreezes in 1 hour.
Misty Step: You can use magic to teleport to an unoccupied space up to 30 feet away which you can see.
Thunderclap: You can use magic to blast the area around you with thunderous sound.
Burning Hands: You can use magic to make your hands capable of melting objects no stronger than steel.
Haste: You can use magic to speed the flow of time around one person for 5 minutes. While under the effects of this spell, they can move very quickly and seem to operate outside the bounds of time to everyone else.
Earth Tremor: You can use magic to force the ground around you to shake.
Web: You can use magic to create a spider's web no larger than 5' x 5'.
Grease: You can use magic to make the floor become extremely slippery and ignitable. Using Grease for any usage besides it's officially intended purpose may end in horrendously bad results

ranger:
Sniper: Your bow attacks are uncannily good at making their mark and can be shot at from up to 800 feet without missing their mark.
Create Trap: You have the ability to set up basic traps to ensnare an enemy.
Darkvision: You can use magic to make up to 3 targets see in the dark as if there was dim lighting all around the party. Additionally, you gain a permanent darkvision that allows you to see without the use of a spell.
Hunter's Mark: You can use magic to put a mark on someone. A mark allows you to track them down easily up to 24 hours after it's been placed, and your target takes additional damage when it's hit by you.
Dancing Lights: You can use magic to create up to 4 lights within a 30-foot range around you.
Alarm: You can use magic to set off a magical alarm, heard only to you, that alerts you of the presence of someone passing through the area you cast the spell in. The alarm will expire after 8 hours.

Keep
My Little Rifle - A brightly colored full-sized plastic sniper rifle that shoots foam darts with suction cups on the end, with ten darts.
Antibiotic Gel - A gel with antibiotic properties. Makes wounds heal 40% faster than soap and water alone. - using on his burn
Bubble Wrap - A roll of bubble wrap about two feet wide and two hundred feet long. Perfect for keeping cinnamon rolls safe from murder (just remember to leave room to breathe).
Holo Nail Polish - A bottle of holo nail polish. It's like a little galaxy for your fingers and toes. - painted a target
Gelatin - Instant fruit-flavored gelatin mix. Just add hot water, stir, and set in the fridge. You can even use cookie cutters to make fun shapes*! *Cookie cutters not included.
Good Vibes - A small, battery-powered device approximately the size and shape of a tube of chapstick. It vibrates pleasantly when the end is twisted.
Foot Spa - A machine that helpfully provides a much-needed foot massage.
Heartburn Medication - A bottle of heartburn medication. But can it fix a broken heart?
Glitter Cannon - A cannon that shoots plastic capsules filled with glitter. It's like paintball but worse.
Bath Bomb - A ball of tightly-compressed powder wrapped in vacuum-sealed plastic. This one turns the water into an opaque swirl of purple, blue, and silver glitter like a galaxy. - used in the fountain
Slippers - A pair of sturdy moccasin-style slippers. They're very soft on the inside.
Soft Sherpa Blanket - A very large, very soft blanket. It looks like wool, but it feels like being wrapped in a big warm cloud.
Parade Jacket - A black jacket covered in straps and silver buttons with epaulets. Pretty fancy stuff. Sized large.
Forget-Me-Lots - A beautiful bouquet of forget-me-nots. - used to decorate valentine's day
Whiskey - A bottle of whiskey. It tastes expensive.
Mark VI Helmet - A wearable plastic space helmet replica in a bright cobalt blue, one size fits most!
Ring of the Lucii - A conduit for a royal bloodline's blinding light. However, it seems to be just an ordinary ring now. - given to Ardyn
The Ring of the Lucii - The kings of Lucis know why the ring is so valuable, but can advisers see-- oh. - given to Noctis
Cloth Bandages - Plain bandages made out of plain white cloth.
Glitter Cannon Refills - Refill rounds for a glitter cannon. They'd probably break open if you threw them with enough force anyway.
Spondage Rope - This somehow soft, broken-in rope is both strangely comfortable and damn good at holding a knot. Wonder what post-6969 technology went into the making.
Tea - A tin full of loose leaf tea leaves. The smell reminds you of home.
Hot Chocolate - A packet of powdered chocolate. Mix it with hot milk or water for a warm, delicious treat.
Flower Bookmark - A bookmark with gladiolus, flattened out against the card to look like a blade with bluebells forming the hilt, a petal of forget-me-not, and a message written on it.
Glove Me Daddy - A box of fifty lubricated condoms in randomized colors and flavors. If you want to get ecstatic, use a prophylactic!
Hot Chocolate - A packet of powdered chocolate. Mix it with hot milk or water for a warm, delicious treat.
Dino Plush - Gift from Arianna. Blue. "Caboose"
Knife - Folded knife from Armigod
Space Sword - Dulled alien sword from Armigod
Gun Sword - Dulled gun-mounted blade from Armigod
Roomba - Dark brown, carries a (never-ending!) bag of assorted chocolates around. "Count Chocula"
Roomba - Lighter brown, used to help him carry things, tends to sit outside of Scarftacular with the Good Home items. "Lopez"
Shipping Tea - Latte Art, coffee in a tea can.
Bottled Water - A bottle of clear mountain spring water.
ChocoBro - A black chocobo onesie, extra large. It's soft and fleecy.
The Good Stuff - A bottle full of large white pills. The label says "Oxycodone."
"Church's" Underwear - Dark red shorts patterned with black stars. Ridiculously high quality.
Facial Scrub - A luxurious pink salt scrub. It'll purge your negative ions and leave your skin shiny and beautiful.
Foego - A bottle of highly sugary soda. It's more sugar than liquid now. The flavor is birthday cake.
Half-Finished Manuscript - The manuscript of a book Roland was working on, this shitty novel is probably the only distraction he had from the terrible world around them. Unsurprisingly to their situation, it's a light horror story/thriller.
Toy Sheila - A plastic tank for all your play soldiering needs.
Prince Charming - A simple but stylish little crown charm in gold.
Engagement Ring - One of a pair of color-coded rings; black with a strip of pink through the band and a pale pink sapphire set into it.
Engagement Ring - One of a pair of color-coded rings; black with a strip of blue through the band and a blue sapphire set into it.

Free To A Good Home
Tuxedo Briefs - A pair of black and white briefs that look like a very dapper shirt and tie. You can tear away the front to reveal...a pair of the exact same briefs.
Future Foundation Suit - A black suit of astonishing quality with a matching tie.
Good Vibes - A small, battery-powered device approximately the size and shape of a tube of chapstick. It vibrates pleasantly when the end is twisted.
Glitter Cannon - A cannon that shoots plastic capsules filled with glitter. It's like paintball but worse.
Cat Pillow - An incredibly soft pillow that looks like a sleeping cat.
Tiny Car - A tiny red convertible. It's powered by pedals like a bicycle, with a steering wheel. For some reason it makes you think of old men in silly hats.
Hope’s Peak Photo - A photo showing sixteen teenagers from Hope’s Peak Academy. They all look happy to be together. Byakuya is to a side of the photo, with his usual “you’re trying my patience” face, but he doesn’t seem unhappy. - given to Fukawa
Wedding Ring - A beautiful wedding ring very lightly themed after the sea. Seems to fit a woman’s hand. - left at the fountain
Roll of Bubble Wrap - A roll of bubble wrap about two feet wide and two hundred feet long. Perfect for keeping cinnamon rolls safe from murder (just remember to leave room to breathe).
Fruit Basket - A basket full of oranges, grapefruits, and several different kinds of apples.
Wedding Ring - A plain gold band. It’s well cared for, but dull with age. - left at the fountain
Space Lube - A tube helpfully labeled Space Lube. The tube is as big as a full-grown man and weighs about 90 lbs
Pumpkin Space Latte - Legally, this iced blended drink probably barely counts as 'coffee'. It's mostly cream, sugar, and pumpkin-flavored sugary syrup, topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.
Foot Spa - A machine that helpfully provides a much-needed foot massage.
Black Cardigan - A black cardigan, well worn and starting to thin at the elbows. Smells faintly of...blood? The fuck? - given to Jane
Tuxedo Briefs - A pair of black and white briefs that look like a very dapper shirt and tie. You can tear away the front to reveal...a pair of the exact same briefs.
Burgie - A stuffed burger pillow with big eyes and a friendly smile.
Antiemetic Medication - A bottle of bright pink liquid medicine. It tastes like the farts of a chalk unicorn, but you won't regretti that spaghetti!
Health Scanner - A handheld electronic scanner that can immediately gauge the health of whoever it's aimed at. It glows green for impotence! Oh, wait, green causes impotence...
Wanna See A Trick? - A set of six ping pong balls. They look white under normal light, but if you turn the lights out they glow.
Spaceman Spish - A glass helmet made to protect the wearer's face from the cold, remorseless void of space. If you're six and think that sticking a fishbowl on your head makes you a spaceman, that is.
My Son - Your son now.
Hot Chocolate - A packet of powdered chocolate. Mix it with hot milk or water for a warm, delicious treat.
Cookie Cutters - Make fun shapes with your jello four seasonw later!
Love Letter - A heartfelt declaration of a young girl’s deepest feelings. It’s terribly wrinkled and has a small tear at the top... It clearly wasn't treated with the same love that was put into it. - given to Fukawa
Mini Sun Lamp - A miniature sun lamp. It perfectly imitates the conditions of Earth sunlight, but it's no substitute for the real thing.
Emerald Broach - A large emerald set in a gold fastener. It seems to part of a set. - pinned to Natsuhi's memorial blanket
Forget-Me-Lots - A beautiful bouquet of forget-me-nots.
Bath Bomb - A ball of tightly-compressed powder wrapped in vacuum-sealed plastic. This one turns the water into an opaque swirl of purple, blue, and silver glitter like a galaxy.
Cool Video Game - It's a new RPG! You should see if there's a console in Lightshow that can run it.
Tuxedo Briefs - A pair of black and white briefs that look like a very dapper shirt and tie. You can tear away the front to reveal...a pair of the exact same briefs.
Coffee - A plastic tub full of coffee grounds. It smells like battery acid and regret.
Glove Me Daddy - A box of fifty lubricated condoms in randomized colors and flavors. If you want to get ecstatic, use a prophylactic!

Are you for fucking serious with this, we're all dead, and you want to talk to me? Does this thing even get any reception? Fucking--look, just leave a message, you know what to do.